The Common Riding Haggis
(English Translation)

Hello. My name is Jimmy. I am a wild haggis and I am lucky to be living just now. This is how I survived.

Well, it was a lovely, beautiful day in my home town, Selkirk. I was getting awfully excited and looking forward to the Common Riding which was the day after. Oh yes, it was great to be sitting there in the tall blades of grass on Selkirk Hill. Suddenly, I heard a little noise far away so I walked down to the town to see what was going on. Oh, it was the sound of the brass band. I was very amused with the band so I decided to stay the night in the town so I could see the band the next day. So I hurried down the Shirra Short Breid (Shortbread) Close and fell asleep.

Pum Pum Pum Piddle Iddle Iddle Um

That was the first noise I heard in the morning when I woke up. I was so excited, I was jumping up and down. But I jumped too high and landed in a trombola. It was a pity the little man was blowing it at the time and I blocked the sound. The poor little fellow was trying to play but he couldn't. His poor little face was getting redder and redder and I thought he was going to burst a blood vessel. A crowd had gathered round the poor little man. Eventually, after a lot of puffing and blowing, with a huge effort, he blew me up into the air.

I landed in front of a huge horse creature. It was the standard bearer's horse. CLONK CLONK went the horse's feet, CLONK CLONK CLONK. Oh, I was so frightened. I didn't want to move in case I got stepped on but I couldn't stay where I was, could I? All of a sudden, I heard an important voice shouting, "STOP! STOP THE BAND!" The band and all the folk stopped stock still. Then a tall man got down from his horse, scooped me up from below the horse's feet and put me in front of him on his horse. He was the standard bearer and he had saved my life.

Together we rode round the Marches and as we came in at the toll a huge cheer rose from the crowd. And I was the proudest haggis in all Scotland. We trotted up to the town to cast the colours. I sat on the platform, proudly. I was proud to be a Scottish haggis but most of all, proud to be a Souter.